As I Am

NOTE:  I originally wrote this piece August 27, 2009.  However, it is still relevant and fits well with my purpose on this blog.  Hope you enjoy.

Last night, my junior varsity girls soccer team played their third game and lost 0-3. The other team was the city school who happens to be quite a rival. It was really frustrating for me as a coach because I wanted to win so badly. However, I was super happy when I left the field last night.

Even though we had lost, my girls had played really well. They have improved so very much in the past month. I have many of the same girls on the team as I did last year and the improvement from last year to this has been even more significant. We gained some younger talent, sent some of our most improved up to varsity and are working with what we have. If you know anything about soccer (or football), you will know that there are eleven players on the field at a time - I have eleven girls. I only get substitutes because my varsity coach loans me one or two girls. With all of these factors, I was extremely pleased with last night's game.

The varsity played last night also. They played the same school as we did; I knew it would be a great game before it even started because both are awesome teams and such rivals. We ended up winning the game 4-2. The varsity coach, Kacy, was not pleased, however. She knows that the team can play much better than they did. They did not play the way they have been taught and slacked off. They were able to draw on their conditioning at the end to pull out the win, but in her opinion, did not play very well. They have also improved a great deal in the past year but did not show it in the game last night.


Winning and Competition

There have been numerous studies done in recent years discussing the ill effects of competition. Competition, it is said, develops an attitude of being a winner or a loser in children. The views they gain of themselves through this carries over into all aspects of their life and can make many children feel as though they will never be successful. Being a winner can make a child feel superior and give him or her an attitude of dominance. None of these attitudes are very good ones for children to develop.

I agree with these beliefs to some extent, I also believe that there are many positive effects of a little competition in a child's life. No matter how we try, the idea of competition is ingrained in several aspects of our daily lives. Finding a job and getting into college involves competition. The US government has encouraged competition in our schools - the one place people keep saying it shouldn't be - through programs and laws such as No Child Left Behind.

Winning is a great thing. Competition can be healthy and fun. It is the attitude we teach kids about winning and competition that is important. For me, improvement is just as good as winning. Many times comparing two teams or groups of students is like comparing apples to oranges. Their success can only truly be measured when compared to themselves and how far they have come.


Improvement

As a soccer coach this season, my team's record is 0-3. Two of those games have been against schools two or three times our size. One team had twice as many girls as we do. Though we have stuck with every one of these teams - for the most part - I have been incredibly pleased with the improvement they have made from game one to game three last night. Our first couple of games we only had two or three shots. Last night we had thirteen. Our first game, we were completely dead by the end of the second half. After figuring out that the harder they worked during practice, the easier games would be, our conditioning improved by leaps and bounds by the second and third game.

The point is that I would love to win, but I am happy with them getting better and can tell them that.


Its All in the Attitude

What are we teaching when we place all of our emphasis on winning? We are teaching that coming out on top is the only way to be successful. The student that goes from getting F's to getting C's will never be successful because the one who continually gets A's is obviously the "winner."
What are we teaching when put we don't make winning the goal? Being sucessful depends on your definition of sucess. Winning a game is a great goal - in sports, its the outward sign of success. I will always keep winning as a goal for my team - but I am happy with improvement and hard work.

What are we teaching when we say that it doesn't matter what happens or how kids perform - everyone is a winner? In the movie The Incredibles, Dash says to his mother when she says that everyone is special, "That's just another way of saying nobody is." I've thought a lot about this. I believe that there is potential and good things about everyone. But not everybody uses these things to better themselves. If we say that everybody is always a winner no matter what, what are we saying about the hard work and dedication a successful child has put into a sport or academics? What are we saying about the kids who work their butts off just to make the team? We cannot praise them because the kid who doesn't try or work on anything or has a bad attitude is just successful.

As a coach, and a teacher, I just want my kids to keep working. Improvement with a goal and a positive attitude can help a child create and develop the skills he or she will need to do well in the world and be happy with the things accomplished. Coaches that drill the idea of winning as being the only way to be of worth as a player or team drive me crazy. Coaches that are content with whatever their kids give, even if it is not a good effort, also drive me crazy.

So as a coach, part of my coaching philosophy will be this: Strive to continually improve and work hard and success, in whatever form, will come. Always keep a goal in mind of something to be reached. Always have a positive attitude and be encouraging.

Last night I turned to Kacy, the varsity coach and said, "Is it wrong to be so happy about a 0-3 loss?" Answer: nope - they played awesome.