As I Am

NOTE: I originally wrote this piece on March 3, 2009.

JUST WRITE IT
Have you ever just wrote something down to get it out of you? To put it down so it doesn't feel like the anger or pain or overwhelming excitement is all stuck inside of you? I think a lot of people have - I definitely have. Most people think of a journal as a place to write down everything they do in a day. I kept my journal that way for long time. For me it was hard and ultimately discouraging to do it that way. I would get behind a couple of days or a week or a month and then feel like I had to write down EVERYTHING I had missed. The task would feel so daunting that I would just quit. SO I had to decide to scrap the rules I felt so constrained by and come up with some new...non-rules...to write by!

1. You may write whatever you want. About anything that pops into your head. About anything that is going on or that you feel or that you think.

2. If you don't want to write about your everyday activities, don't. If you just want to skip over something, do.

3. It is okay to skip days. If you forget or don't feel like writing one day, just don't do it.

4. Take your journal everywhere. It doesn't just have to sit by your bedside. You never know when something is going to strike you.

5. Drawings, quotes, poems, pictures, souvenirs, letters, and anything else can be put or written in you journal.

6. If you don't want to call it your journal, pick another name like your personal blog, your place of anger, your ears that never stop listening. Its your world. Call it whatever you dang well please. You could even give it a name like Joe or Susie!

7. Don't follow any rules:)

Writing is a release for me. I love to do it. Journaling can be a great help and companion for getting through life. So try it. Get out a piece of paper and just write how you feel. You might learn something about yourself...

NOTE: I originally wrote this piece on March 15, 2009.

When I was looking at where I wanted to go to college, I at first thought a large university sounded wonderful. I had heard that you could just become lost - be known by just a number, and for some odd reason, that sounded pretty great. I wanted to be able to go through with as little responsibility as possible. What I was thinking, I don't know.
I ended up going to the satellite campus of a top university in Indiana. It has about 2000 students so it is fairly small. I ended up falling in love with the intimacy of the campus and the people on it. Even when I was still considering moving away and going somewhere else, I was pretty set on a small college. Nothing much bigger than where I already was. All of a sudden, size was very important to me. In the end, however, I am so glad that I went to a small university.

1. The teacher/student relationship actually exists. Where I go to school, I know my professors. I have never been in a class taught by a T.A. My professors are there and concerned about actually teaching class. Many of them still have to complete research, but it doesn't completely rule their life at school. Some of the greatest people I have met there have been professors. They have time to talk to you. You know exactly where their office is. You may even be able to just sit around and have lunch with them. Many of my professors choose to be involved in my life in more than just an academic way and that has made a huge difference.

2. Class size really does make a difference. Looking back, I cannot imagine being in a class of 200 students where the teacher had no idea who I was. At a smaller school, the classes are smaller. I don't think I've ever been in a class larger than 30 (even general education classes) and as I moved up into my higher level courses, a small core group of us have been able to work one-on-one with our teachers and use them as resources.

3. It can be so much cheaper. I don't know how much difference there actually has been in the rates of my tuition because I still go to a state school, but for me, I have been able to save so much money on travel and living expenses. My school has no dorms but those are expensive anyway. Scholarships have also been easier to get. I have earned the ones I have received, but I have just been in a smaller pool of people going for some of the local ones.

4. Campus life is very alive. One concern I had and that I know many other students have had about attending a small university is whether or not I would be able to get involved. I didn't really need to worry about it. If a student wants to be involved, there is no shortage of opportunities. In fact, those opportunities may even be greater because of the openness and small intimate setting of whatever is being done. I really believe that no matter where a person goes, if he or she wants to be involved a way will be found.

5. There is a greater availability of campus jobs. Everybody wants to work on campus because of the convenience. At a bigger school, the pool of applicants would be much bigger than it will be at a smaller school. I was able to get a job on campus for which I was highly qualified, but because of sheer numbers, may never have been looked at for at a bigger school.

6. The quality of education does not have to be less. I do not feel like I've been denied anything in my education because of going to a small school. The diploma I will receive in May will actually come with no mention of the fact that I attended a satellite university. It will be of the same quality and worth as if I had gone to the "mother" school. In fact, I think I may have been held more responsible for my learning because of the relationships and intimacy of the students and faculty.

7. They are usually begging you to travel with the university instead of turning people away. Our school has had the great fortune of taking, since I've been there, four major trips with various classes. Once to Hawaii, once to Ireland, and twice to Italy. The opportunity to go is open to anyone on campus, and they are usually looking for people to go with them. The flood of people wanting in isn't so great that they must turn people away. I was able to travel to Hawaii with a class of about 10 people and a couple of "adults." It was a great experience.

8. There are still opportunities to take advantage of the big school resources. The school I attend is under the umbrella of a Big Ten school that has eight or nine campuses total. I have found that there are still ways to take advantage of the bigger campus resources. For instance, I will be traveling to the main campus to borrow several costumes for a show we are putting on here. They have a large drama department. We have nothing. They are willing to share most generously with us, however. In addition, if I decided to study abroad, I would be able to take part in the programs offered through the larger campus. These are just a couple of examples.

9. You get to know the cafeteria ladies. Although I wish we had a bigger cafeteria on campus, I have to say that we have some great ladies that work in the one they have. They sure take care of us. Knowing and having a rapport with the one making your food can sure come in handy:)

10. Having to walk across campus is not as bad as it sounds. I called a cousin of mine who attends a larger campus and talked to her as she raced across campus from one class to another. She said she is always late to her next class because of how far apart everything is. I don’t really have that problem because there are 4 buildings on my campus. They are close together and easy to navigate. This is a real blessing on both our cold, snowy days and the blistering hot ones.

Everybody has to make a decision about what sort of college will fit them best. I wouldn't want to think though that a school would be dismissed primarily because of its smallness as I almost did. Keep an open mind and realize that there are great things about it, too! In fact, you may end up never wanting to leave - like me:)

NOTE:  I originally wrote this piece August 27, 2009.  However, it is still relevant and fits well with my purpose on this blog.  Hope you enjoy.

Last night, my junior varsity girls soccer team played their third game and lost 0-3. The other team was the city school who happens to be quite a rival. It was really frustrating for me as a coach because I wanted to win so badly. However, I was super happy when I left the field last night.

Even though we had lost, my girls had played really well. They have improved so very much in the past month. I have many of the same girls on the team as I did last year and the improvement from last year to this has been even more significant. We gained some younger talent, sent some of our most improved up to varsity and are working with what we have. If you know anything about soccer (or football), you will know that there are eleven players on the field at a time - I have eleven girls. I only get substitutes because my varsity coach loans me one or two girls. With all of these factors, I was extremely pleased with last night's game.

The varsity played last night also. They played the same school as we did; I knew it would be a great game before it even started because both are awesome teams and such rivals. We ended up winning the game 4-2. The varsity coach, Kacy, was not pleased, however. She knows that the team can play much better than they did. They did not play the way they have been taught and slacked off. They were able to draw on their conditioning at the end to pull out the win, but in her opinion, did not play very well. They have also improved a great deal in the past year but did not show it in the game last night.


Winning and Competition

There have been numerous studies done in recent years discussing the ill effects of competition. Competition, it is said, develops an attitude of being a winner or a loser in children. The views they gain of themselves through this carries over into all aspects of their life and can make many children feel as though they will never be successful. Being a winner can make a child feel superior and give him or her an attitude of dominance. None of these attitudes are very good ones for children to develop.

I agree with these beliefs to some extent, I also believe that there are many positive effects of a little competition in a child's life. No matter how we try, the idea of competition is ingrained in several aspects of our daily lives. Finding a job and getting into college involves competition. The US government has encouraged competition in our schools - the one place people keep saying it shouldn't be - through programs and laws such as No Child Left Behind.

Winning is a great thing. Competition can be healthy and fun. It is the attitude we teach kids about winning and competition that is important. For me, improvement is just as good as winning. Many times comparing two teams or groups of students is like comparing apples to oranges. Their success can only truly be measured when compared to themselves and how far they have come.


Improvement

As a soccer coach this season, my team's record is 0-3. Two of those games have been against schools two or three times our size. One team had twice as many girls as we do. Though we have stuck with every one of these teams - for the most part - I have been incredibly pleased with the improvement they have made from game one to game three last night. Our first couple of games we only had two or three shots. Last night we had thirteen. Our first game, we were completely dead by the end of the second half. After figuring out that the harder they worked during practice, the easier games would be, our conditioning improved by leaps and bounds by the second and third game.

The point is that I would love to win, but I am happy with them getting better and can tell them that.


Its All in the Attitude

What are we teaching when we place all of our emphasis on winning? We are teaching that coming out on top is the only way to be successful. The student that goes from getting F's to getting C's will never be successful because the one who continually gets A's is obviously the "winner."
What are we teaching when put we don't make winning the goal? Being sucessful depends on your definition of sucess. Winning a game is a great goal - in sports, its the outward sign of success. I will always keep winning as a goal for my team - but I am happy with improvement and hard work.

What are we teaching when we say that it doesn't matter what happens or how kids perform - everyone is a winner? In the movie The Incredibles, Dash says to his mother when she says that everyone is special, "That's just another way of saying nobody is." I've thought a lot about this. I believe that there is potential and good things about everyone. But not everybody uses these things to better themselves. If we say that everybody is always a winner no matter what, what are we saying about the hard work and dedication a successful child has put into a sport or academics? What are we saying about the kids who work their butts off just to make the team? We cannot praise them because the kid who doesn't try or work on anything or has a bad attitude is just successful.

As a coach, and a teacher, I just want my kids to keep working. Improvement with a goal and a positive attitude can help a child create and develop the skills he or she will need to do well in the world and be happy with the things accomplished. Coaches that drill the idea of winning as being the only way to be of worth as a player or team drive me crazy. Coaches that are content with whatever their kids give, even if it is not a good effort, also drive me crazy.

So as a coach, part of my coaching philosophy will be this: Strive to continually improve and work hard and success, in whatever form, will come. Always keep a goal in mind of something to be reached. Always have a positive attitude and be encouraging.

Last night I turned to Kacy, the varsity coach and said, "Is it wrong to be so happy about a 0-3 loss?" Answer: nope - they played awesome.

American Idol won't ever be the same when Simon Cowell leaves.  He might be one of the most entertaining parts about the show.  Wanna-be singers don't make it past his scathing honesty and those who do, have really asked for it as the contest progresses.  Simon is known for saying the harsh truth - which in and of itself is not a bad thing.  The thing is he says those truths with pretty much no regard as to how the person may feel because of what he has said.  Though the people targeted sometimes have their own choice things to say back, viewers love it.  He is the lack of feeling that holds the show together.

House has been a success since its release in November 2004.  The show starring Hugh Laurie as the infamous character Gregory House tells the story of an astonishingly talented doctor with a toxic attitude and his team who take on seemingly unexplainable illnesses in patients and heal them.  The catchphrase for the USA network's advertisement of the series is "the character everyone loves to hate."  House is narcissistic and brutally honest.  He has no trouble telling people (including patients) they are ugly or fat or freaks - just as examples.  If you got rid of House though, there would be no show.

Bravo is constantly coming out with new reality-type shows.  One of the latest is called Kell on Earth (notice the play on 'hell on earth' - just making sure you got it:)).  The premise of the show is based on a woman named Kell and her fashion show creating team.  In the promos for the show, in one scene Kell is heard to say, "We aren't really mean but we'll say mean things to you for sure."  Her business partner asks someone interviewing her, "You say I'm a bitch as if its a bad thing."  I really doubt the show would have even made it off the drawing board without the meanness factor from those involved.  On the same note, Bravo has come out with shows very similar to this such as Tabitha's Salon Takeover and Real Housewives of Orange County (which I don't think is a Bravo original, but that's where I've seen it).

More mainstream shows like The Bachelor, Survivor, and Wizards of Waverly Place on Disney also include that mean aspect that keeps it interesting.  Jake, the current bachelor, is not mean himself but the girls definitely can be mean to each other (and we love it!)  The people on Survivor actually survive by making friends and enemies and will probably end up saying or doing mean things to both groups.  Wizards is probably one of my more disturbing examples.  Alex, played by Selena Gomez, has a surprisingly bad attitude and can be, in my opinion, unexpectedly rude.  And she is a role model for our kids.

How do I know about all this?  Because I watch (or have seen advertisements) of them.  That means I'm totally into this wave of unkind words myself.  It is definitely entertaining.  Sometimes I find myself a little embarrassed for whoever is being told off by Simon and want to turn away but keep watching because, well, its funny!  I guess what I am saying though, is that this idea that being mean is "cool" may not stick in the real world.  People may appreciate honesty but don't normally take it well when it is said in a rude fashion.  Most people aren't being paid millions of dollars like Simon to speak his mind however he wants. Kids are not going to make friends through being mean (nor am I).  Do we really want to continue to portray such an image through so many different genres?  This is just how I see it.  Maybe I'm wrong.  But I don't think so.


(*Okay, this is my real post for this blog.  I want to go ahead and publish it although I'd like to spend more time with it.  Maybe I will later.  For now, here it is.  Don't judge too harshly:))

This blog is yet another outlet for all the things I want to say.  I want to write things that mean things - that have purpose and direction.  I will do my best in this challenge to myself, and I invite you to watch.

I find myself wanting to write about things happening in our world - the things happening that affect me and my family and friends and those that will come after me. Here, I want to write how I see things, how I feel about them, and what I might do about them if I had the opportunity. I do not want to limit myself to certain topics but keep an open mind. I want to figure out where we are going as a group of people, and as we are, and as I am, I want to explore and feel it all.